There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
