Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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