can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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