Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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