I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
