I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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