I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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