There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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