And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
