Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
