Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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