Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
