Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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