You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
