My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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