I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
