I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
