you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
only if we run a train.
done.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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