11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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