So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
