dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
