Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
