Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
