Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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