Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
