I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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