They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
