Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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