We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
