and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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