Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
