well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
