I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
