I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
