Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
