You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
