Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Come see our sink grown plant.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
