I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
