Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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