Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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