I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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