Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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