these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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