There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
