I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
