lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
