If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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