He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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