I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
