I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
